How not to get scammed by predatory marketers on Substack (or anywhere)
Beware people who make money on Substack by claiming they’ll teach you how to make money on Substack
This post was originally published earlier this year on Creative Letters, my other Substack about creativity. I wrote it because I was sick of predatory marketers on Substack, and I wanted to help people distinguish between helpful content and scams. I never had any intention of writing anything else about marketing, but the post blew up, and I realized that maybe there was a need for more non-sleazy marketing guidance on Substack. So here we are.
I sometimes joke that if I ever completely lost my moral compass, I’d get rich making online courses that teach creators how to make six figures in 90 days — WITHOUT ANY SALES OR MARKETING.
The courses would be complete bullshit, of course, but they’d probably sell anyway because the market for false hope springs eternal.
To that end: I’m so sick of people who make money Substack by claiming they’ll teach you how to make money on Substack.
I’ve been a professional marketer for 15+ years. I’ve gone viral myself a few times (still waiting for those promised life-changing results). I ran my own consultancy for years and led corporate marketing teams before that. I daresay I know my shit. So please believe me when I tell you: by and large, the influencers are lying.
We can’t stop predatory marketers, but we can learn to avoid their scams. So join me up here on my soapbox, and let’s unpack some of the many myths and false promises influencers use to prey on creatives who, oh so understandably, yearn to make a decent living from their creations.
Below is a list of major red flags that someone is engaging in predatory marketing. I’ve encountered them all and, sadly, learned about some of them the hard way. If you run into any of these red flags, proceed with extreme caution (at the bottom of this post, I’ve also included a few helpful humans who offer excellent marketing advice and genuinely want you to succeed).
A non-exhaustive list of signs that someone is trying to scam you on Substack (or anywhere)
1. Absurd promises.
There is no secret formula to go from 0 to 10,0000 subscribers in 90 days or 6 months or probably even 12 months. You aren’t going to build a six-figure Substack business without ever having to talk about that Substack to anyone. There is no guaranteed way to go viral. There is no silver bullet. Anyone who promises otherwise is lying.
2. One-size-fits-all approach.
*Cough* subscriber growth brag posts *cough* If someone is pushing a proven 5-step program that’s guaranteed to work regardless of your Substack content, audience, or goals, run away. There are no guarantees in marketing. Ever. There are general best practices (e.g. know your audience, give them stuff they value, make it easy for people to work with you), but every person’s path to success will look different. Two people can follow the exact same set of steps and get wildly different results — not because they screwed up or failed, just because life. And also, probably, money. Speaking of money…
3. Individualist “rags to riches” narrative.
The ideal of the lone influencer who escaped poverty through grit and duct tape to earn a great living as a solo creator — while also restoring a Victorian fixer-upper, solving all their health problems with artisanal CBD, and raising six kids — is incomplete at very best. At worst, it’s a bald-faced lie. Entire agencies exist to help influencers build brands and go viral. I can pretty much guarantee you that those influencers are paying other people huge sums of money to help them maintain the illusion of doing it all themselves — while selling you the lie that you can and should be able to replicate their success on your own.
[Side note: There’s nothing wrong with paying other people to help you run your business. It’s actually a very smart thing to do! My issue is with people who pretend they do it all themselves so they can make money selling you content on how to do it all yourself.]
4. Guilt trips and gaslighting.
The worst of the scammers will weaponize your self-doubt. They’ll make you think your own fragility is what’s stopping you from being successful. If you express hesitation or tell them no, they’ll reply condescendingly that you just “aren’t ready” to receive their wisdom. This is abusive behavior meant to break down your confidence and doubt your own reality. Trust yourself. If something feels off, it’s not you — it’s them.
5. False urgency.
Here’s a dirty little marketing secret: most limited-time offers are fake. They’re designed to create a false sense of urgency — sign up now, or this amazing deal will be gone FOREVER and you’ll miss out on this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY to find out all the ways you’re failing at Substack! There’s nothing wrong with an honest discount, but if someone is sending you message after message with increasingly urgent limited-time offers (bonus if they pair it with gaslighty, guilt-inducing language about how much you’ll regret missing out), they probably just want your money.
Now’s the part where I share a hard but liberating truth
The playing field is not level. I’m sorry. It sucks. It’s infuriating and totally unfair that people get to make so much money by selling you false promises and then have the gall to make you feel inadequate for doubting them!
But it’s kind of liberating, too.
It means you aren’t doing it wrong.
It means you can release yourself from the endless grind of tweaking, editing, posting and reposting in hopes that you’ll go viral.
It means you can let go of other people’s success metrics and pursue what’s important to you on a schedule and at a pace that works for your life.
Most of all, it means you can show up as yourself — in all your brilliant, beautiful, messy, unquantifiable humanity.
That’s how the all best stuff gets made.
So… who actually DOES give good marketing advice on Substack?
If you’re still in need of marketing advice, despair not. There are good actors out there. Here are a few of my favorite people saying actually helpful things about how to grow on Substack. Full disclosure: I subscribe to all four of these lovely humans!
Seth Werkheiser is a solid dude who knows his marketing shit and proves you don’t have to burn yourself out on social media (the Substack equivalent — looking at you, Notes) to build a following.
- is super generous and kind. She’s been in the trenches and says consistently helpful things.
- knows so much about Substack, it’s scary. Her posts are easy to follow and offer tons of actionable tips that you can usually implement right away.
- is a bang-up designer who can help you make your Substack beautiful in all those little detailed ways that can take you from just okay to super polished.
Credit where credit is due
Many thanks to Ines Bellina and my good friend Megan (who, wisely, does not publish on Substack) for helping me with earlier versions of this post.
Coming next week: How to find a marketing consultant who can actually help you grow
I’ll share a list of the key things to look for in a marketing consultant. Subscribe now and get it next week!
One last thing
For some reason, the Substack robots aren’t showing comments on this post despite them being enabled. If you’d like to comment (and I’d love it if you would! There’s actually some pretty nice discussion happening.), you can do so here: